IP
no cabeçalho, pintura de Paul Béliveau
Nadador salvador nas provas de natação dos Jogos Olímpicos :)
Other Brits on the (tight-fisted) Scots:
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are planning a party. “I’ll bring six pints of bitter,” says the Englishman. “I’ll bring six pints of Guinness,” says the Irishman. “I’ll bring six friends,” says the Scot.
The Belgians on the (parsimonious) Dutch:
Dutch husband to Dutch wife: “Put your coat on, dear.” “Why, darling, are we going out?” “No, I am. So I’ll just turn the heating off.”
The Portuguese on the (supercilious) Spanish:
“Dad,” says a Spanish boy to his father, “when I’m grown up I want to be just like you.” “That’s nice, son. Why?” “So I can have a son like me!”
The Italians on themselves:
Three reasons Jesus is an Italian: only an Italian son would live with his mama till he was 30. Only an Italian son could think his mama was still a virgin. Only an Italian mama could think her son was God.
The Belgians on the (arrogant) French:
Why did the French choose the cockerel as their national symbol? Because it’s the only animal that sings when it’s knee-deep in shit.
The Swedes on the (dim-witted) Norwegians:
Why do Norwegians have such greasy hair? They’ve let their oil go to their heads.
The Danes on the (overbearing) Swedes:
What’s the best ever thing to have come to us from Sweden? An empty ferry.
The Estonians on the (hard-drinking) Finns:
Two Finns meet up for the first time in years. “So how are you?” asks Pekka. Ahti grunts and orders a beer. “And how’s the family?” asks Pekka. Ahti grunts and orders another beer. “And how’s work?” asks Pekka, three pints later. “Look,” says Ahti, “did we come here to drink, or to talk?”
The Germans on the (thieving) Poles:
When is it Christmas in Poland? Two days after Christmas in Germany.
The Swiss on the (not very bright) Austrians:
Why is the Austrian flag red-white-red? So they don’t get too confused when they hoist it.
The Austrians on the (boring) Germans:
The main difference between Austrians and the Germans is that Germans would like to understand Austrians but can’t, and Austrians understand Germans but would rather not.
The Slovaks on the (despised) Czechs:
What does a Czech need to be happy? Not much, as long as everyone else has got less.
The Romanians on the (mean-spirited) Hungarians:
“I’ve had all the tests, and the doctor tells me there’s no question, I’m xenophobic. That’s another bloody illness the Hungarians have given me.”
The Ukrainians on the (filthy rich but stupid) Russians:
“I’ve just bought a tie for $3,000.” “Idiot! You could have bought the same one just down the street for 5,000.”
The Macedonians on the (corrupt) Greeks:
A Greek motorist parks his car outside the parliament in Athens. “You can’t park here,” says the cop. “This is where out politicians work.” “That’s OK,” says the motorist, “it’s fitted with an alarm.”
(from The Guardian)
Tenho uma ponte sobre o Tejo, em excelente estado de conservação, para venda a um dos ingénuos que votaram Marinho e Pinto. Para se habilitarem a receber em suas casas esta magnífica ponte, que os levará à margem oposta do Tejo, basta depositarem uma caução de boa-fé 5.000€ que será devolvida a todos excepto ao incauto vencedor. Faça já o seu depósito, peça-me o nib por msg privada.
(bocas do Rui)
via Enrique Anaya
1. ¿Por qué los tiburones no atacan a los economistas?" Respuesta: "Cortesía profesional".
2. ¿Cuántos economistas de Chicago hacen falta para cambiar una bombilla? Respuesta: Ninguno. Si se necesita cambiar la bombilla, el mercado se encargará de hacerlo.
3. ¿Qué responden en una entrevista laboral un matemático, un estadístico y un economista cuando les preguntan cuánto es 2 + 2?
- El matemático no lo duda: "da 4 exactamente". El estadístico pondera: "en promedio, cuatro, con un margen de error del 2%". El economista acerca la silla al entrevistador y baja la voz a un susurro: "¿A qué desea usted que sea igual?"
4. ¿Por qué Cristóbal Colón fue el primer economista? Respuesta: Porque cuando dejó el Puerto de Palos para descubrir América ignoraba a dónde iba; cuando llegó, ignoraba dónde estaba y, además, lo hizo todo con una beca del Ministerio.
5. ¿Cuál es la primera ley de los economistas?: por cada economista existe un economista igual y opuesto. ¿Cuál es la segunda ley de los economistas?: ambos están equivocados.
... e ainda não estava institucionalizada.
directamente do FB
Olhos dos alunos na sala de aula :
(-_-) (-_-) (-_-)
(-_-) (-_-) (-_-)
Quando o prof diz que haverá teste :
(O_O) (O_O) (O_O)
(O_O) (O_O) (O_O)
Durante o teste :
(→_→) (←_←) (→_→)
(→_→) (←_←) (→_→)
(→_→) (←_←) (→_→)
Quando o prof olha :
(↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓)
(↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓) (↓_↓)
(roubado ao MA -aluno- no FB)
no cabeçalho, pintura de Paul Béliveau.
mail b.alcobia@sapo.pt
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